Ri’s Read: No Disrespect by Sister Souljah

So, I detoured a little from what I had planned to read last month. I started Wholeness by Touré Roberts, but I couldn’t really get into it like I hoped. It’s a relatively thin, easy read, but the content just wasn’t moving me. That, and his writing style. I felt like I was reading something either written by or meant for, like, a middle schooler. The writing just wasn’t… good.

My line sister-roomie says that she believes you can’t really read a book until you’re meant to. You may try to read something, but realize that you aren’t really absorbing it. Then one day, you may find a book calling to you, and when you try at it again despite knowing that it wasn’t right for you before, you find that it resonates with you deeply.

She’s the one who excitedly described another book she had finished “in one weekend,” which she dubbed one of the best books she’s ever read. She lent it to me April 1st. I finished it April 5th.

What I Read

No Disrespect

No Disrespect is an autobiography in which each chapter represents someone who has helped shape Sister Souljah’s perspective of Black love in some way. It’s boldly candid, holding nothing back and leaving little to the imagination. This book was so refreshing for me, because it’s been a while since I’ve picked one up that I truly didn’t want to put down.

“Anyway, I have no apologies. At least not to any of you. Only to God. I intend no disrespect.”

Sister Souljah

This isn’t just some story recounting the peaks and valleys of Sister Souljah’s love life — it’s much more than that. Through her anecdotes, she effectively dissects the intersecting systems of race, class, and gender in America to reveal how generations of oppression have broken the African American community… from our identity and self-view, to our family structures, to Black men and women’s perception and treatment of each other.

A Few Takeaways

• The Black family structure is one of the most sacred and influential facets of Black love. It is the foundation that shapes our worldview. Unresolved generational trauma lends to the misrepresentation of how Black men and women should carry themselves, love themselves, love one another.

• While you may be stronger in certain areas of love than others (i.e. familial, romantic, platonic, self), they are all interrelated and influence each other.

• Sister Souljah’s views on same-sex love are, for me, too archaic. Maybe it’s because this was written in the 90s, before LGBTQ+ activism and acceptance became so widespread? She tries to be open-minded but makes it clear that she doesn’t approve of it. I found her perspective on this kind of invasive and self-important. Honestly, in many of her stories, she spends a lot of time trying to convince people in her life that her way of seeing things are the only way. Then again, she is radical and passionate, so it makes sense.

• Racism is at the root of the issues we face in the Black community. We have been systemically programmed to hate ourselves, and over time, developed a survival mentality. We don’t have time to heal, or to love and nurture each other properly, or to advance economically, because we’re too busy trying to meet our basic needs. As parents, we believe that “I put food in your mouth and a roof over your head” is equivalent to “I love, cherish, and support you.” As a community, we teach our boys to be tough and emotionless; we teach our girls how to use men to their advantage.

The Bottom Line

Given that I basically inhaled this book in a matter of days, it probably goes without saying that I absolutely recommend it. It honestly tells us a lot of what we already know about racism and the Black experience in America. But, aside from the insight you may or may not gain from it, it’s simply a really, really good book.

I was breezing through the chapters like, “wow… this woman’s life could literally be a movie.” Some of her experiences had my jaw on the floor lol.

What I’m Reading

Educated: A Memoir

This is another one that my roommate lent to me. I read a couple pages, and it seems really promising. I’m also gonna try to revisit Wholeness at some point… maybe next month? We’ll see.

Here’s a preview of Educated.

---

As always, feel free to leave your thoughts if you’ve read either of these books. I’d also love to hear your book recommendations!